There are certain signs that you haven't lived your life right, and I see way too many of them way too often lately. Like, I was super happy today because these bran muffins I bought were still warm, and I thought about that all the way home from the store. And not only that, but I still remember that fact hours later, which I for sure wouldn't do if I was living my life right.
Also, the other day I saw a clip of Carrot Top and he was wearing this shirt I own. I sort of thought "yeah, well I had the shirt years ago" for a bit as if that made a bit of difference, but when it comes down to it, I own a shirt that Carrot Top owns, and I wore it as recently as last summer (I have a picture of me wearing it while standing in between a guy in a butterfly costume and a guy in a flower costume on my fridge actually - another sign I am not living my life very well at all).
Also, it is 2 a.m. and I am watching the Mike Bullard show. I mean, the time isn't really important in that statement, the fact I am watching the Mike Bullard show is bad enough. If you're not from Canada, let me explain: the guest on this show right now is the monkey from "MVP: Most Valuable Primate" and he just rode a skateboard over to the interview desk. Actually this is the best thing I have ever seen on this show. Now they're showing a clip from the movie. If you haven't seen it, let me tell you something: it looks pretty great, especially the special effects and the acting, I think I have to rent that.
Know what I like about monkeys? They use their feet for so much stuff! That's so smart! I hardly use my feet for anything. Like, monkeys use their feet for eating, giving high-fives, shaking hands, clapping, scratching their heads, etc. All I use mine for is eating, I'm totally wasting my potential.
Oh man the monkey is hugging the host now and the monkey looks so happy and content, this is awesome! I need to hug a monkey so bad! I wanted to get a monkey as a pet for a while but then someone told me that they're fine for a while and then they just start pleasuring themselves (haha "pleasuring themselves" - that just makes me laugh) non-stop and leaving messes all over. And I already have that covered around here! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! Seriously, that's the best joke, no matter how many times I use it. I'm actually surprised I haven't gotten around to using it here before, have I? Well there you go, BADOOM!
1:14 a.m. - 10-02-01