Comments:
I'll go first to demonstrate the format: "it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like a fat dude eating a pizza". Remember though, the answers don't have to be about eating.
andrew / 2002-05-24 16:37:22how about "like a woodchuck on speed"? or "like Mike Tyson on an earlobe"? um, yeah
jen / 2002-05-24 16:42:21"It has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like a beaver through a pine tree." "It has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like kid with a box of cereal with a prize inside." Man, I keep getting more lame as the day goes on. Someone's going to have to put me down. Till then ~Gwen
Gwen / 2002-05-24 16:45:01'can rip through wood like a hooker goes through condoms' ?
Chris / 2002-05-24 17:24:50...that can rip through wood like Bond through women?
morgie / 2002-05-24 18:06:51"pudding eating grandma" ? ...sorry
mariam / 2002-05-24 18:56:09"Faster than Tony Hawk on a BMX!" um.. waitasec... something in there does'nt sound right.
Eli Boulton / 2002-05-24 19:05:48"Knife through butta" muaha
milky / 2002-05-24 19:13:39Like a hot brick through puddin'? I think pudding is always a good starting point.
sturge / 2002-05-24 19:49:14...that can rip through wood like this hot, saucy Taco Bell bean burrito ravaging my digestive system. ...that can rip through wood like a redneck at a clay-eating party. (or like a Kleenex at a snot party! Stole that from The Simpsons...) ...that can rip through wood like foxy boxers battling on a greased up boxing ring. That doesn't even make sense.
Milquetoast / 2002-05-24 20:23:13"it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like"... a termite on speed..... or like M.C. Hammer goes through money.
invisiblepal / 2002-05-24 22:36:46Ok I had one, but I think that Chris had the best one. I really like "rips through wood like a hooker goes through condoms" and I'm not even gonna try to compete with that.
Kat / 2002-05-25 00:01:10...like a queef-spurting porn star. Gross, yes, but so are grandmas and pudding. I mean, c'mon, Andrew. Get with the fucking program.
Horky McHorkington / 2002-05-25 01:19:49uhm. what?
serena / 2002-05-25 01:56:04...like a joy-rider through a red light......like a scalpel through flesh? Hmmmm......
Spacebabe / 2002-05-25 04:05:03chris should win. the hookers are the best.
attymonkey / 2002-05-25 08:26:12Andrew has a saw with a super-fast blade that can rip through wood like: a schizophrenic goes through personalities. A beaver on speed. Grannies at the discounted panties table. (Gotta work the grannies in there somewhere.) A bunny on the fourth of July. Yo momma.
Onea / 2002-05-25 08:48:55and it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood..... Faster than a horny man tearing off a chastiy belt. Faster than a somilian can unwrap a big mac. Faster than Mach can scream "BEAR!" causing you to look behind you in fear. Hey, Andrew.....have you gotten any of my recent emails? Just curious. Peace!
Mach / 2002-05-25 13:34:31I was going to come up with my own, but I think my vote would be put to better use behind the campaign for "grannies at the discounted panties table." For what it's worth.
Di / 2002-05-25 19:33:42like Imelda through a shoe store. like The Hulk through a t-shirt. Oh, all right, you got me--I just wanted to see when you were going to e-mail me back about my banners. *sigh*
frootjoos / 2002-05-26 05:33:45It can rip through wood faster than the Roadrunner on Steroids. or It can rip through wood faster than Pamela Anderson wearing out her bra's. or It can rip through wood faster than Bill Clinton sticking to his Marraige Vows. Ok, I'm done
cosmicrayola / 2002-05-26 08:37:25It can rip through wood faster than hot piss through snow.
Janet / 2002-05-26 15:13:05...like Bea Arthur goes through a tube of Preparation H. She's a grandma, and hemororhoid cream is almost like pudding, right?
Horkina Von Horkestra / 2002-05-26 20:21:35"It has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like a shark meeting Tony Danza."
Scout Thompson / 2002-05-27 01:32:02Had to do one more. "It has a super-fast blade that can cut through wood faster that a bunch of Rednecks going through beer at a 4th of July picnic"
cosmicrayola / 2002-05-27 11:07:45can rip through wood like an alcoholic goes through beer
dez / 2002-05-27 11:43:07like andrew through a family sized lasagna
c1996 / 2002-05-27 16:20:41it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood, dammit, and if you don't believe me than screw you! SCREW YOU!!! I HATE YOU AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT THE SAW DOESN'T RIP THROUGH WOOD! I'LL MURDER YOU! MURDER YOU GOD DAMMIT!
Todd / 2002-05-27 21:37:26"It can rip through wood faster than hot piss through snow." up north where it's cold and there's lots of snow in winter... usually hot piss freezes pretty quick and turns into ice, while it goes through the snow. so it doesn't go very far....
Al / 2002-05-28 00:12:08like a priest through an unsupervised alterboys'convention?
ack! / 2002-05-28 11:37:56oh! the lasagna one is GOLD, JERRY!
jerome / 2002-05-28 16:20:40like a fart in front of the students :) or like hot lava through ICE!
kenny / 2002-05-28 17:11:56It has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like a saw with a slow-spinning blade would rip through wood, only faster.
Matthew Baldwin / 2002-05-28 18:01:48why did you buy a table saw?
erica / 2002-05-28 19:59:00Below are my juvenile entries. Thank you. #1: "it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like rambo ripping up old grannies at the discount panties table" #2: "it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like an irresponsible logging company might wreak environmental havoc across a sacred tract of land. why, it rips through wood even faster than i can proclaim, "i am a trite and worthless human being!" I wonder if this super-fast spinning blade can cut through my arm? Perhaps that would awaken me from this ongoing rut of meaninglessness. Ironically, it is sometimes the worst of pains which make us the most fully aware of how wonderful the gift of life truly is. And, in addition to this spiritual awakening, if I were to saw my arm off, I could use the severed appendage to scratch and wash those areas of my which I can not typically reach. I'll laugh at the arm and how I outwitted it. And I can play the game where I hang the arm out of the car door or trunk, as if it has been slammed in the door, and people will laugh out how clever I am! and they'll say, "That arm is very realistic!" Thats it, I'm seriously doing it. Goodbye arm, hello recognition. Goodbye lousy grandmas at the discount panties table, hello kitty!. Goodbye."
kitty / 2002-05-29 01:34:05......it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like a magic sorceror fighting the intrepid Harry Potter!!
Zak / 2002-05-30 17:54:15By far the best answer is Matthew Baldwin's "It has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like a saw with a slow-spinning blade would rip through wood, only faster." Or you can modify my stock analagous response "It can rip through wood faster than ... um ... uh ... something really fast?"
gooserella / 2002-05-30 23:57:46"...like a donkey on mescaline..."
blair / 2002-05-31 21:00:39��Ѵ��
��� / 2002-06-01 01:32:27like a fat kid on a smartie :o)
Pam / 2002-06-01 11:14:01All I have to say is, be careful for your thumbs! My dad almost lost his thumb to a table saw and he's been a carpenter all his life.
bopbah / 2002-06-03 20:06:54it can rip through wood like my attention span in science class
Autumn / 2002-06-03 21:01:35it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like a 250lb cast iron table saw with a super-fast spinning blade. i'm better with literals than i am with analogies.
idlechic / 2002-06-03 21:49:33it rips through wood like a midget at a half-off sale? hahahaha. shit. i amuse myself.
brenn / 2002-06-03 22:26:12....it has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood with the intensity of a Jehovia's Witness at your door.
kitty-- / 2002-06-04 16:25:33how about my dick through a bitch. whats up, andrew. looking forward to seeing you at the party this friday!
harsh / 2002-06-05 00:32:33It has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like a grandpa eating pudding. It's a subtle change, but trust me, it'll get you one step closer to writing the great canadian novel.
Sam / 2002-06-15 02:15:52like a llama's bowel movement
Gelid / 2002-06-19 16:03:22Like a squirel having its teeth brushed?
Jade / 2002-06-29 11:15:47Word to the -nicht so witzig- "kitty" imposter: you stole my name, you ruined my game, my entry used to be the one and only detached arm back scratchin dominator. look. don't soil me with your jehova's witlessness. and furthermore, for the record, why would the original kitty repost anything here when its clearly evident that the first kitty entry rips through all previous entries like a QT-10 table rips through wood??
original kitty / 2002-07-11 04:02:21QT-10, tablesaw.
tablesaw / 2002-07-11 04:04:07oh dear god....
Tina / 2002-08-10 00:41:26...like a prune through a short grandmother. (props to Terry Pratchett, from whom I totally stole that saying)
Itzie / 2002-10-28 03:36:21...like a prune through a short grandmother. (props to Terry Pratchett, from whom I totally stole that saying)
Itzie / 2002-10-28 03:36:23it rips through wood faster than an ikea chair breaks so andrew whats my prize.
nikki / 2003-06-28 00:27:20It has a super-fast spinning blade that can rip through wood like Hugh Jackman.
dirkdiggler / 2003-07-24 19:50:04add your comment: