I want to be a lot more obsessive-compulsive about germs than I currently am, but I don't know if I really have the commitment and drive in me to do it right, really put my whole being into it. As much as I try, I may have to accept that I am just a normal germophobe, and not a world class freak about it, like I wish I was.
Now that I am at an office all day, I did buy a bunch of things today to help me along though. I got some Kleenex wet wipe things in a plastic tub, so at any point during the day I can act exactly like I just finished a plate of chicken wings. I also bought a new toothbrush and some 3-in-1 super strong toothpaste, the kind that sort of makes you gag when you use it a tiny bit, which I love, you know it's good when you gag. I got some lotion Kleenexes with Aloe and vitamins on them (I think E? Or maybe D? I'm a bit of a vitard). Best of all though, I got a bottle of soft soap, but instead of just being the normal antibacterial stuff I usually would get, I noticed they had a foaming kind, and I was sold the second I saw the words "hospital grade" on the package.
Hospital grade, such a great idea! Of course I need hospital grade soap, I touch doorknobs now and then! I love that no matter what you want to buy, if you want to really go overboard with it, you can. Someone is always willing to sell you something just a little bit crazier than you probably need. I'm not just talking about the obvious things like 60 inch TVs (they're really big and really flat!) or SUVs (really big! And now more than ever, a sensible thing to own!), or extra-strong penis enlargement cream (surprising amount of demographic crossover with the SUV owners!). I'm talking about just like how if you ever wake up one day and you suddenly feel like Coke just isn't doing it for you anymore as far as large amounts of sugar and caffeine go, you don't have to worry, someone invented Jolt! If you suddenly get tired of reading disjointed and boring scrawlings on bathroom walls, it's okay, someone invented the internet! And if you're tired of mmmmm check out that ass, that ass is big, don't worry, someone invented OH MY GOD, oh no, just look at that ass, that ass is massive, oh yes that is a huge ass mmmmmm!
6:19 p.m. - Sept. 13, 2005