Oh man, I just bent over to pick something up and I heard this rip from behind me, and it turns out my pants totally ripped! They already had a little tear because they were cheapo crappy pants and broke when I put my hands in the back pockets a few days ago. It turns out that even knowing that your pants are cheap and crappy doesn't make me feel any less like a big fatso when you bend over and they split along your derriere, or maybe like someone in a Laurel and Hardy movie I guess.
I watched the Oscars a bit last night and partway through I wrote some notes which I just found on a computer file on my computer. Here they are:
- renee zellwiger open your damn eyes
- tom cruise opening was such a stinkfest holy crap
- which is elijah wood and which is toby mcguire? does anyone know this?
That was the extent of it, I have no clue why i bothered writing those out. Mostly while i was watching I just kept listening to the dumb jokes and then shaking my fist and muttering "Vilanch!". I love the fact that somewhere at the academy of awards there is a meeting every year where they go "okay, good awards and boy those jokes were frigging hilarious! We totally have to get Vilanch again next year! Oh let's hire Carrie Fisher too!". That's a fact I saw somewhere eh, that Carrie Fisher was part of the writing team for the Oscars. I could mock that, but what's the point. Except one thing, I was thinking that if I was running the Oscars though I'd hire myself as the head writer and then hire Carrie Fisher and she'd be all happy like "wow, I'm branching out into writing!" but then I'd only have hired her to write Carrie Fisher jokes. And she'd be like "Oh come on, let me write one about Whoopi's hairdo!" and I'd go "haha no sucker, write another one about you being crazy!". The jokes wouldn't be timely, but if you saw any of the ones last night you'll know that doesn't matter. Anyhow, enough about that, all i have to say is that it's really nice that a black woman finally won the best actress oscar, maybe one day a black woman will host the show.
10:29 a.m. - Mar. 25, 2002