I joined a gym today, it was so ridiculous. Every single thing that I used to hate I have gotten really into in the last year or two it seems like: Cell phones, fitness clubs, murder, etc. Haha, no I'm just joking, I'm not actually really into my cell phone.
Anyhow, joining a gym is so sad, but I have decided that if I'm going to die of heart failure, it should only be when I inevitably decide that pipe-smoking is cool (I have this tentatively set for age 45 on the big board, around the same time I grow a beard). The guy took me around the gym, and I burned 6 calories while he showed me how to use some machine they had there, which was pretty neat (I celebrated this preliminary victory by eating the last quarter of the cherry cheesecake in my freezer, which I am pretty sure was exactly 6, maybe 7, calories). Mostly though we sat facing each other and he said stuff like "I have no problem with you becoming our newest member right now" (phewph! I was worried they wouldn't let me and my dues in) and "you've already done the hardest part, which is coming in here in the first place" (wrong, the hardest part was pretending to understand when you made all those hockey-related jokes!). Anyhow, in the end I got all signed up, and any day now I am going to have a nice 6-pack (the good one with boney ribs, not the bad one that's fat, isn't it weird how that term has 2 opposite meanings? Or am I confused?), and there is no chance that I will stop going in 2 weeks and then mumble angrily for the next 12 months while they continue to bill me because I signed a dumb contract.
11:06 p.m. - Apr. 18, 2002